day 3

Well what is done is done and we will all have to live with theconsequences. I have regret and sadness but with the path I have chosenthat will just have to be my burden to bear. I brought that on myselfand eventually I will put the regret and sadness aside and continue tomove onward from there. We did not go to the movies I was tired from OT on Monday night so wejust stayed home and watched TV. When we both got up I much earlier thatDH we just ate at home and hung out. We went out Tuesday morning sincemy tummy was in knots all night at work and by the time I got home I wasstarving. It was nice just the two of us. I have realized that I amre-evaluating my friends. I am not trying to it is just happening all onmy psyche's own. I am trying not to have this whole thing effect my lifebut it is. I truly value my husband-he is my best friend and really isthere for me when it feels like no one else is. I really kind of feltabandoned these last few days and I know it is not true by any means. Iknow I could have called on any number of my friends and been fine.Something in me did not want to be comforted, maybe I thought I wasgetting what I deserved even though I didn't do anything wrong. I findthis whole thing a struggle within. I am thankful for the opportunity tohave this happen no matter how painful to grow. I am not really surewhat will be the end result and where I will be when it is finished fornow. I did not do much on my day off but mope around. That is on me and whatI wanted to do. DH was super happy about that but he understood I waspretty stressed lately. I got comfort and understanding from him when Iwanted that he was very reassuring and for all that I am very thankful.I have been trying to have an appetite again. I just get super hungrythen don't really want to eat because I know it will be a knot in mytummy. Tonight before work I got so worked up I almost threw up. Yeahnot a nice thing. But that is on me and how I am dealing or not dealingwith the situation as it may be. I found out 05/26-30 will be training so I will have to work days.YAY!!! I am sure we will have a girls night somewhere in there. MaybeThursday so if Megs has Friday off she can stay out later :-) I askedfor April 30 off to see Death Note L. It is the dubbed version. I think4/29 will have the subtitled Megs. I figure we will celebrate birthdaysand ann between the two of us that night. A little supper and a moviethat will be very nice. I know I don't have much vacation left afterIreland, but I wanted to make sure we could do something a littlespecial. I don't know if I can wait until Ireland before I cut my hair. It ispretty long! I was thinking I will have to braid it all the time soon. Idon't want to mess up the ends when I sit down and lean against thechair I am leaning on my hair. I sent an inquiry off to the travelagency and have still gotten nothing back. I may resend it 4/6 or 7 whenI have my weekend. I did get back a pretty cool heraldry design Moraigcame up with. Mine was shot down for stupid reasons (understandable butKingdom law does not make it easier). I think it will be kind of easy tomake something with. I can still do blue gold and green for my colors sothat is nice. I am not so sure about how to make a dress with it. Istill have to get with someone to help me hem my skirts even though I amnot doing the Renn Faire. We watch Bill Nye yesterday and he talked about organic wines and thedifference between American organic and European organic. This hasgotten me thinking and I will have to go on the look out for them totry. They don't keep as long because they don't have all the additives.I am also curious to try the wines with the proper glasses. DJ took aclass and she swears she can actually drink some wines she couldn'tdrink before all because the glass it is served in. She swore it was allbunk but now she is a believer. I can't wait for wine tasting at herhouse!!!! Too bad it won't be for my birthday-I have to work. Coffea is now open so I need to find out this morning what the hoursare. I did not realize they closed Great Plains coffee down in the mallbecause they were going to open this coffee shop. That was a surprise tome when I checked their website. I saw the open sign was on but did notwant to have coffee to keep me up too long after work. I am excited totry what they have and check out the beans. I will have to buy some fromthere for the next Caffeine Chocolate Swap for April. I still need toput my photos out on flikr and post to Ravelry. I thanked my partner butthat was as far as I got. I also need to take photos of my SP stuff andpost about that too. I emailed my SP personally but did not postanything yet. I have been getting a few cute things here and there andam very excited about the new swap. There is so much anticipation andfun that goes with it. The baby blanket is almost taking on it's own zip code. Lovely!! I stillneed to bring in the finished one after I get the other gift I ordered.She will love it! I got baby booties from Etsy for both babies. They aresuper cute!!!! I found some other baby yarn upstairs and will have toplay with other ones to make. I would like to have a bit of a stash forjust in cases. At the end of the year what ever is left will go underthe Christmas tree at church. I am not that ambitious but we will seehow many I end up being able to make and finish. So far I have a projectupstairs on the needles and 3 downstairs on the couch. I am hoping tonot start any other new projects until I can button up some of what I amalready doing. I found a blue baby blanket started upstairs too.Yikes!!! I had no idea. I try to work on the project finish it thenstart another one. I am not sure what happened. Oh well the more themerrier.